Yikes.

I really don't post that often, do I? Goodness, I am very sorry. This year has just been crazy. I used to love to blog all the time! So guess what I am going to talk about... again....?
Yup.
You've got it.

Love.

One day I will look back on these posts and think wow. I was so pathetic. I am, I really know it. But, I can't help myself. Maybe I just hold on to the hope that one day, the person I'm talking about will read this, realize that I'm talking about him, then profess his love to me on a romantic boat ride out on a lake. How cool would that be? It isn't going to happen though. Because, I am a Mia Thermopolis. People like me just day dream about whimsical romantic things, but never get to experience love truly because we are too busy embarrassing ourselves in public.

But this guy.... he's different. He's everything I have ever wanted. And, I think, or at least I hope, he likes me. He still has a girlfriend, but I am going to guess that because she is graduating this year, it will be convenient for him to break up with her. If that doesn't happen, I make eat carrots in a cave for the rest of my life. He went with me to prom... yeah... I know what you're thinking. "Why would he go to prom (AND SLOW DANCE) with you if he has a girlfriend??" ...I am wondering the same thing myself. He and I are going to be camp counselors with each other all summer, so we will see how it goes. Pray for a happy ending to this quagmire!

College List

COLLEGE

The list begins....

My Top Favorite
Olivet Nazarene University
Gordon College

Other Favorites
Towson
Tufts
Westminster
Bridgewater State University
Clark University



I feel so lost. Do I want to go to my favorite, which is so far away? Or do I want to be closer to home, the place where I belong?  Hopefully, this summer/ fall will help me figure it out. If anyone has any advice, please email me. I am a complete mess right now...

I just want to be happy wherever I wind up. I don't want to get stuck somewhere where I can't come home. Yet at the same time, I want to be somewhere where I can enjoy myself.

A lot of people meet their one true love during their college years. I don't want to fall in love with someone away from home... but what if he is out there? What if he is here? That is a major dilemma too. I guess I'm more worried about that than anything else. I know that God will work out the right thing. I just pray that I see the direction he wants me to go. I don't want to be a Jonah, running away from where God wants him to go. I want to be exactly where he wants me to be. .....I just don't have a clue where that is. It is extremely stressful. God says over and over again in the Bible, "do not be afraid." I am not afraid I don't think.... Just frazzled.

College Questions

Wow. College is right around the corner. This fall, I will be applying to colleges around the country and eventually making the big decision of where I want to wind up for four more years. This is like huge. This one decision can change my entire future. What if I make the wrong decision? Is it possible for me to make a wrong decision or will God help me make the right one? I pray pray pray that I wind up doing what I am supposed to be doing. Also, most people meet their spouses during their college years. What if the guy I wind up falling in love with lives in Illinois? I want to come home after college. Ugh. This is too much pressure for me.

Happy Single Awareness Day!

Someone told me yesterday that Valentines Day is also known as Single Awareness Day. How true is that? It is so sweet to see everyone with their roses and teddy bears from their loved ones. However, it is also very easy to tell who is single as these people are not holding the flowers and giant teddy bears. Valentines Day is the most wonderful and depressing holiday at the same time. Those who are taken go out to dinner and go to the movie theater with their boyfriends while the single people watch romantic Hallmark movies on the couch as they bawl their eyes out. Crying actually makes us single girls happy sometimes!

In actuality this was an amazing Valentines Day. I was making valentine cards with the 6th graders. It is so nice to see that Valentines Day isn't all about romantic love. In some countries, Valentines Day is a celebration of friendship. I have had so many amazing friends in my life and I just want to take a minute and thank them. God knew that I needed these people in my life.

It is also nice to have a date for Valentines Day. I am looking forward to that first date with my perfect someone. I may not know who he is yet, but I know that God knows and that he is out there somewhere.

People Make Mistakes

People make mistakes. I have made so many I think that they would count past infinity. I had liked this guy since the beginning of time. Like 3rd grade. But, I was holding on to a dream that isn't mine anymore. He was the last part of me that still felt like home. He was the only one who had watched me go through my whole life, from place to place. But, I blew it, because it was obvious that I liked him. Why would I have liked him, I do not know. He has a girlfriend. It is so wrong to like a guy who has a girlfriend, especially when it is obvious that they are in love. I am so happy that they are, and look like they are the cutest couple on the planet. I don't know if that boy has been reading this blog or not, but I am hoping that he does so that he knows how sorry I truly am. I am a silly teenage girl who makes silly mistakes and overreact to everything. I always get my mouth in trouble, I always say sorry and I always get into the middle of things. Not this time. I am done being there.
I just read a book called the Secret Life of Bees. Fantastic book. But, reading it made me realize that I do not need a guy to make me happy. I just need to live my life and live it to the fullest. We only have today, so I should not be worrying about tomorrow, unless I have a PreCalc test. THEN I need to worry. =)
I have so many wonderful things and why I never felt like that was enough I am not sure. I am only human. Well, I AM sure now and I am going to start changing my whole way of thinking to God's will and not my own. Because when God works, it turns out far better than I would ever imagine, and I need to keep reminding myself this.

Driving Misadventures

Driving is so scary. Why can't we just teleport ourselves from place to place? That would be so much easier. So far...

-I have almost been hit by a massive tractor-trailer truck at an intersection
-Watch another tractor-trailer truck almost tip over
-Run over a curb
-Pull out in front of a logging truck
-Was squished by two cars while trying to parallel park

But that is okay.... because I am alive to write about it. And so is the Drivers Ed car. The bad thing is that I am only halfway through my driving hours.

My mom refuses to get in the car with me until I have 20 hours logged. I have a feeling that even then she won't get in the car with me!! =P  A woman I haven't heard from since I was 7 called my grandmother asking for my name (because she couldn't remember it.) She asked if I was okay and felt the need to pray for me. That spooked her so now she REALLY won't get in a car with me.

Please pray for me. I would like to still be living by the end of this course!!

By the way, who reads this blog? If you want to comment or text me that'd be great. I just want to know if I should keep this going.